Burn or Build?

“Some women are lost in the fire.
Some women are built from it.”
– Michelle K. Some

The image above is not new, but it is the flagship image that sets the pace and tone of my photography philosophy (see link at the end of this entry for the full story). Why am I bringing it up again? Today of all days, the day after Easter. Well, In some countries, Easter isn’t over yet, and Easter Monday is referred to in the Orthodox Church as Renewal Monday.

The quote from Michele Some that opens this entry resonates deep within my soul, as a concluding prayer of sorts of my Easter and Lenten journet. I was born as the fire goat in the Chinese zodiac, and fire seems to be a recurring theme in various stages of my life. Having been born with the physical disadvantages that I was, I had two choices – let the fires of social biases destroy me or transform into the warrior that I was destined to be. Well, my mother being the woman that she was, was fire personified, one what shaped and forged when things were at their most difficult. I often think that she must have been a blacksmith in a past life, because she had the uncanny ability to hammer the reticence and reluctance out of me, and turn my insecurities sharp blades that defended and cut through all the bullshit of life. So I never really stood a chance to cower behind her skirt and hide my face from the world.

Women who built from fire are empowered in ways that few can keep up with. This is an inner strength born from pain and destruction, and the greater the lossn, the stronger the fire. You just have to figure out how to manage these fires before they get out of control. Believe me, I’ve been there, almost consumed by both rage and passion that almost destroyed my soul, the core of my creative existence. But I chose to renew my covenant with life and move on, leaving the emotional arsonists to wallow in their own muck. I played with fire, got burned, learned my lesson, and here I am.

Yesterday’s renewal walk with the camera was a turning point for me, a poignant reminder of what I left dormant for far too long, concentrating on the logistics rather than the marrow of life. I have some decisions to make this week, and the choices are rather intimidating. But I keep reminding myself that I survived the destruction for a reason, and now Spring has arrived in my life, and it is time to burst forth with new life.