In previous blog entries I dropped two phrases that are very significant to me: ageing is a privilege and positive ageing. Ageing is a topic that I feel strongly about these days, both on a personal and professional level. For starters, it is imperative that we all accept the fact that ageing is both inevitable and irreversible, so why deny it? Second, it is what we do about our lives in the present moment that matters most, instead of wallowing in the past or worrying about the future. If you keep doing one of those things, or both, the beauty of the present day just passes you by and you miss out on so much. I saw that happen to my father and so many others and it just made them bitter and discontented in their winter years.
There is a plethora of products on the market that sell incredibly well simply by going on the premise that they are anti-ageing or age-defying. I’m not even going to get into that debate because it’s a snake pit, and at the end of the day, the only anti-ageing serum that should matter is letting go of what everyone else tells you to use or do to look and feel younger. What annoys me to no end, however, is the endless number of 20 and 30-somethings that preach about anti-ageing and the fountain of youth. These people haven’t begun to understand what it is to age, in many cases what it even means to be a parent, and what is included in the concept of living life to the fullest after having gone through several decades of ups and down. At some point we hopefully realise that every single wrinkle and white hair is like a medal of honour for a life lived and savoured. Why would I want to cover those up and hide them from the world? They are living proof that I made it through and lived to tell the tale.
I am not concerned about other people’s judgement of whether I look my age or not. What I do care about is how I treated others, what impact I had on their lives, what difference they made in mine, and what memories we created together. What does it matter if we gained weight along the way? Or are no longer as agile as we used to be? Did you share your knowledge, time and talents with others? Do you live by your values and honour your commitments? Do you respect the beliefs and cultures of others? Are you mindful of our language and timing? Did you build true friendships that stand the test of time and distance? THAT is what ageing is all about, not layer upon layer of cosmetics or serial dieting, not to mention the utter superficiality of social media. In other words, are living a real life and are able to carry on proper conversations face-to-face with people? Can you tell the difference between that and virtual reality, i.e. doing things that are Instagram or Facebook worthy? Do you understand that three friends that you share a 40-year friendship with means so much more that 1 million followers on any social media platform?
My mother was my role model of ageing gracefully and positively. She defied convention and spoke her mind, did everything selflessly and overflowing with kindness, and made it a point to laugh and smile more than once a day regardless of the chaos around her. Mommy remained playful till her dying days, with a wicked sense of humour, never failing to be curious about people and cultures, and was an incredibly good listener. She had no elaborate beauty routine, wore crocs with her skirts, and used baby cologne instead of perfumes. When I was in my teens I wondered about her choices, but as I grew older and learned the value of being true to yourself, I admired her more and more. The best way to honour her and all the incredible women who have gone ahead, is to follow her example and age in the same manner – with faith, grace, courage, and an indomitable spirit.
Before you continue reading, grab a mug of your favourite brew and get comfortable.
Ready? OK, then have a look at the following videos, a selection from a series created by L’Oreal Paris two years ago for their campaign I Am Worth It. This is what positive ageing looks like:
In short, choose that path that offers you the most adventures, teaches you the most lessons – and this will mean embracing and learning from your mistakes – and make sure you live a life that is full of memories that you want to look back on fondly. Don’t reach at age where you look back filled with regret of things that you always wanted to do but allowed other things get in the way. I say allow deliberately because we always have a choice, and happiness should never be a low priority.
FrogDiva Thoughts 