Getting Rid of Digital Cobwebs

Well my day certainly didn’t go according to plan – well, at least the original plan of basking in the glorious sunshine and sipping tea while daydreaming and surfing. After re-arranging my office space to my liking in the conservatory, and feeling the wonderful creative vibe that emanates from it now, I took a critical look at my pile of documents that needed to be filed. Now that my entire filing shelf is right behind me, I have no further excuse to procrastinate. Sigh.

My shoulder (the one I fractured back in 2019 paragliding) is a reluctant witness to all the work I got done yesterday. It was literally a painful reminder of the adage No pain, No gain. The shoulder itself has healed pretty well, but there are certain movements that I can no longer do, and I accept that, but sometimes I forget a. that I am getting on in my years and b. my shoulder doesn’t appreciate extended physical activity anymore. In any case, the desk looks absolutely marvellous now, the obnoxious documents clamouring for compartmentalisation finally got their wish. I found a few things I thought I had lost and had to mentally apologise to some vendors for cursing them, thinking that they had not sent me the proper receipt or information. My bad, and note to self: unopened envelopes can be ticking time bombs.

It was truly a pleasure to sit and gloat yesterday evening as I smiled up at my folders. Who knew that these quintessential sexless torture masters could be generously comforting once they are fed with the right fodder? Greedy bastards. Alas, the tender moments with the folders in the corner was short-lived and I had to move on. I have to admit, I am pretty ruthless in that respect. I’ve had my share of hollow utilitarian relationships files, printers, boxes and cabinet over the years, and there is nothing sexy, passionate or soul-nourishing about them. Quite the contrary, these folders are your basic narcissistic and demanding partners who dish out one criticism after another and offer little in return.

Today I decided to attack a different monster, whom I have grossly neglected to the point that it began to resemble Jabba the Hutt. When was the last time you cleaned up your email archives? OK, if you are the type to only have one email you are not allowed to play in my twisted world. Until last week I had 11 different email addresses, which I trimmed down to eight, and transitioned them all to my domain, depending on the function and field. As my dear lawyer and friend asked aghast, why do you have so many email addresses? Well, one for each of the services for functions that I operate in. I do not, for example, use the the same email for translation clients as I do ghostwriting services, or as author, etc. and because I am over cautious, I have one email exclusively for online shopping and never use that for any private correspondence.

It was a monumentally monstrous task and I felt a bit like little Anakin Skywalker going into the race, but I finally got a grip on all of them and consolidated my correspondence in truly obsessively-orderly-communications-freak fashion. Then I began to plough through all the folders. It took me several hours of ruthless deletion, but it was incredibly rewarding. That sense of detoxifying my archives is something that I had forgotten. Even some of the emails that I had kept for sentimental reasons got chucked out. There is absolutely no plausible reason to keep emails dating back to 2014. Not to mention that here in Europe we are now strictly governed by the data protection laws, so out with the old. I feel like Obi Wan Kenobi now, albeit the frog version.

Once that was done, I went full steam ahead and earned myself four (yes, 4!!!) certificates today for eLearning courses. If anyone checks out my browsing history lately and looks into my online courses I’m pretty sure some red flags will go up, but it is all in the spirit of being an author who believes in exquisite research and authentic experiences. That, my dears, is a story for another day. Eat I must, for hungry I am. Digital cobwebs I have slain, and good I feel.
Oh, sorry, that was Yoda.
“Be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin, they betray you.”

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