An Apology To My Soul

The journey continues ©FrogDiva Photography

There are days when I come to a standstill, wondering about the choices I made, the decisions I have had to live with. Have they been the right ones? Should I have chosen the other path? If not, how have I dealt with the consequences. Divesting myself of all the roles that tied me down and hid my authentic self over the years is a difficult and painful process, but as I have often shared with friends, once you hit rock bottom, there is really no where else to go except to climb and claw your way back up;

As July comes to a close, and some of the most significant turning points have taken root, the time has come to forgive myself:

For driving my inner persona so hard to constantly be the super strong woman who can weather every change, challenge and stumbling block;

For listening to that the inner voice instilled in me since childhood that kept repeating over and over that crying and tears are for weaklings;

For getting drowned in all the roles and forgetting to come up for air, to breathe some self-respect and self-appreciation;

For convincing myself that I was never enough;

For believing that the girl in the mirror would never be considered worthy of a photograph;

For believing that I need validation for every decision and every choice;

For living the life of the person I thought was supposed to be, and not who I really am – and feeling guilty for wanting to be that authentic self;

For being afraid of making mistakes and being imperfect, instead of celebrating the leaning curves and embracing the flaws;

For taking the blame once too often;

For feeling like a failure when asking for help;

For allowing people’s ignorance, hate, drama, and negativity to bring myself down and preventing me from being the best version of myself;

For not rejoicing that I am a work in in progress, and no unfinished masterpiece is ever perfect;

The time has come to let go the baggage.

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