This is especially dedicated to all of you who, like me, survived childhood and youth in the 1970s and 80s and often find yourself floundering around in 2025 wondering whether the world has gone mad or you have. Well, it’s a little bit of both, but it might be a good time to take stock of some of the values we were raised with and have an honest conversation. Just because we were raised with them (and often got into trouble for not going by the damn book) doesn’t mean that we have to drag them into our present and force them on the next generation. Call it social reboot if you want, but I am so tired of hearing the phrase “that’s the way it’s always been” even if it goes against the very core of my being.
The values and ideas we absorbed in childhood shape how we navigate the world as adults. For those who grew up in the 70s and 80s, many of these concepts were ingrained through societal norms, media, and family traditions. However, as society evolves, so too must our beliefs and behaviours. Unlearning outdated concepts is not about rejecting the past or turning our backs on history, but about making space for new, more inclusive, and progressive perspectives.
The Myth of “Tough Love” – Many of us were raised with the notion that toughness builds character. “Tough love” was seen as the best way to prepare children for a difficult world, and that often meant a good wallop here and there, or punishments that left lasting traumas and damage. While resilience is important, we now understand that kindness, emotional validation, and open communication foster healthier relationships and greater emotional intelligence. My family, for example was really bad at emotional validation and open communication. The focus was on following the iron rules that had been handed down from generation to generation, regardless of individualism or psychological needs.
Redefining Success – In the past, success was often defined by material wealth, job titles, and societal status, and this began with becoming a doctor, engineer, lawyer or business graduate with an MBA. The idea that a traditional career path and financial stability equate to happiness has been challenged and today, success is increasingly measured by personal fulfilment, mental well-being, and work-life balance.
Gender Roles and Expectations – The 70s and 80s reinforced rigid gender norms—boys were expected to be strong and unemotional, while girls were taught to be nurturing and accommodating. When I was in Middle School it bothered me to no end that all the boys took carpentry while the girls were sent to home economics. I wanted so desperately to take carpentry but priority was given to the boys, and I found myself learning how to weave baskets and embroider. These outdated roles limited personal expression and career opportunities, resulting in many niches that were traditionally male-dominated or female-designated. Now, we are unlearning these constraints, allowing individuals to define themselves beyond traditional gender expectations.
The “Pull Yourself Up by Your Bootstraps” Mentality- Hard work is valuable, so is skill and talent, but the idea that anyone can succeed purely through determination ignores systemic barriers and subsequently reaches an early stagnation. Social mobility is complex, influenced by factors such as access to education, discrimination, and economic conditions. Recognising these realities fosters empathy and drives collective efforts for change, especially when we embrace cross-border cooperation. Isolation never did anyone any favours, and this applies to the personal, social, professional and spiritual realms. Remember the old adage “no man is an island”?
Mental Health Stigma – Decades ago, mental health struggles were often dismissed or hidden due to shame. Seeking therapy was considered a sign of weakness, which meant so many issues being swept under the rug and considered taboo. This resulted in three generations of emotionally unintelligent leaders and people in power, the repercussions of which will be felt for decades to come. So many families could have been saved if mental health issues had been discussed openly and kindly. Today, mental health is recognised as an essential part of overall well-being, and open discussions about anxiety, depression, and self-care are encouraged. I salute all the companies that offer mental health days for their employees, as well as the corresponding support.
FrogDiva Thoughts 