Building A Personal Camelot II

Please read part I before proceeding: Building A Personal Camelot I

Part I was written in March of 2021, a year after social distancing and home office began. It was a year of reckoning, trying to come to terms with myself, the new social norms, and the general direction my life was supposed to take. It took me another 18 months to continue building my own personal Camelot and strengthening my foundation. I had no idea back in March 2021 that my life would undergo such a radical change, but everything has been worth the wait.

I always knew Berlin was never going to be by final destination and along the way I kept asking myself, will I ever really know where my feet and head want to rest and find themselves again? It is almost impossible to contemplate sunshine and a haven of peace when you are caught up in the middle of a storm isn’t it? All you can really hope for is that you arrive safely and hope you have made the right decision.

This week has been tough, making decisions with my daughter on what to keep, what to throw, and what to put into storage. I have taken the more radical path and parted with far more than I intended, but at the end of the day, no amount of books, furniture, or kitchenware will make me happy if my heart and soul are restless and still in the midst of a storm. But now that I have found my safe haven, and am living the quiet life I have yearned for, it is easy to part with the material things. What I really need to enjoy life is within reach and has taken me years to build up the courage to enjoy them or understand that it is ok to ask for them. There is no price on peace of mind, and you cannot buy kindness and warmth, nor seek solace among copious amounts of furniture. Sometimes it is the generosity of a few words or the sensitivity of a question that changes my day completely.

I spent most of the week revamping my photography website late into the night in order to update and change some galleries. This is a work in progress, and like what I am doing with my things in Berlin, the time has come to part with some images and move on. So whatever you see now on FrogDiva Photography is a reflection of a person who embraces the present, looks towards the future with hope and renewed inspiration, but has learned deep, painful and life-changing lessons along the way. No hesitations, no voices in my head telling me that this is not according to the rule book, just a free spirit who has rediscovered her wings. Have a look at these three galleries in particular, the titles may sound familiar to many of you, but note the change in style and approach in the more recent photographs:

The Cloud Dialogues

Sounds of Silence

Kiss Me In The Rain

As I write this, Cherry is sitting quietly in the kitchen and conducting some metaphysical conversation with the cats outside. The Milk Bar is not open for business yet but the natives are restless. I have a fire roaring, warming up the hearth and providing some much needed comfort. The rain has stopped and the clouds are parting somewhat, although there is little chance of sunshine. I have soft jazz music playing in the background, nowhere to rush to, and no deadlines to meet.

So many people have forgotten what the slow life is all about, and the importance of Me-Time. Your To-Do list will never be empty, but you will be if you don’t give yourself the luxury of doing what really makes you happy or opening up to those who do.

I leave you today with an image to meditate on. In spite of all the broken walls and fallen structures, these ferns still managed to find a way to burst out in colour and thrive. Camelot is what you allow yourself to be, and not what others tell you to build. No hesitations, no regrets.

No Hesitations ©FrogDiva Photography

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