At the risk of sounding like and being accused as the ultimate anti-Christmas Grinch, allow me another anti-Chrismtas rant. Most of you know my yearly pet peeves such as year-end letters and set menus that never change. This time I have a bone to pick with television programming, or Netflix and The Hallmark channel in particular. If I see another suggestion for a Christmas story, or a Christmas romance I think will be physically sick. why does Christmas have to be so romantic or I think the better question is, why exploit Christmas for romance?
Either Halloween is not celebrated long enough, or the pandemic is turning me into a bitchy cynic. Either way, I choose to boycott Christmas love stories with happy endings this year and am going in the completely opposite direction. I don’t care if I’ve seen the movies several times over already, but they do much more for my mood than another disgustingly sweet movie involving snow, romance and the nauseating formula that everything will work out in the end.
Let’s rock the boat and go with vampires – I binged on the entire Twilight Saga, yes all four movies in one night! Nothing like shimmering immortals and twisted heads to take my mind off Christmas princes and magical inheritances. But my vampires were not enough, and Kristen Stewart just drove me up the wall, so I turned to Game of Thrones and started at the very beginning with season 1. Ah, nothing like dragons, vicious families and insatiable warriors to keeps my mind off things. I was never a fan of The Vampire Diaries, and tried my best to give the series a chance but it just wasn’t my cup of tea. Sons of Anarchy on the other hand…
If you are not into fantasy, and don’t really fancy revisiting the entire Harry Potter movie collection (yup, been there, done that) then go for some eye candy in S.W.A.T. or do what I’ve done as well, catch Criminal Minds from the very beginning as well. I am not that into medical dramas otherwise I would have probably revisited Grey’s Anatomy but every since Patrick Dempsey left the show I lost interest. Nothing was ever the same after McDreamy left. The Blacklist, on the other hand, is always worth the couch potato sessions. Damn this pandemic!
For something completely different, there is the Spanish series, The Cook of Castamar that is definitely worth the trouble, or the superb series Chef’s Table if you insist on food without the cooking lessons. Somebody Feed Phil is not bad either, especially if you’ve been to the cities he features.
If you are into tearjerkers without the repulsive happy endings there is the iconic Ocean’s (Eleven, Twelve and Thirteen) series, which of course are my go-to if I need some cheering up. Nothing like listening to George Clooney, Matt Damon and Brad Pitt saying my name! (Oh come on, what do you mean you don’t know that Julia Robert’s character is Tess!).
Looking for inspirational or redeeming movies? Nothing like Invictus, Forest Gump and The Bucket List. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not completely opposed to happy endings, because I absolutely adore Eat, Pray Love and Our Souls at Night. Just give me an intelligent thriller or an iconic fantasy like Lord of the Rings and I’ll sail through Christmas with a smile, just please, please don’t feed me another romantic Christmas movie!