There used to be a time when we could all rejoice with TGIF and rush out of the office like a bat out of hell. For those in-between jobs or working from home, weekdays and weekends have all melted into one gooey mess that resembles mozzarella that got left too long on the pizza.
It’s been 12 months since we all got confined to the four walls of our homes, whether alone or with family, and it hasn’t been easy for anyone.
So what have we learned in the last 365++ days since the governments and immunologists told us that the world as we know it and the air we breathe is life-threatening? Here’s my list, and maybe it overlaps with yours…
- Toilet paper is not the alpha and omega of your existence during a pandemic.
- Who knew that pasta for breakfast was actually a viable option?
- The new standard of choosing a life partner or housemate is not based on common beliefs, similar values or romantic / sexual inclinations. Screw the twin flames concept! The foremost question in your mind before committing to a relationship is “can I survive a pandemic with this person? Will they spoil me with hand sanitiser or forage a fresh box of FFP2 masks? “
- Cabin + Fever are not signs of boredom.
- Distant and distances are the healthiest thing in all social interaction these days.
- Wear a mask to show your true self.
- Cleanliness is nowhere near godliness – it is a PITA to maintain a spic and span house when everyone is stuck at home and you end up cursing more than politeness demands and wishing criminal deaths upon those around you for messing up that sofa that you just tidied up.
- Shopping in person is a myth, a utopian fantasy (aka lie) that we have been promised. The biblical promised land is not some desert or mountain… it’s a bloody department store.
- Who knew that we would come to miss those rude waiters and bitchy baristas that we so desperately desired to pour our hot coffee over after such lousy service? What joy it would be to just step into a cafe again!
- Holiday and leisure travel are words that should be banned from the dictionary.
- Did you know that so many people could crochet or knit?
- When the going gets tough, the tough build, renovate, fix, paint or garden. Our homes are now suitable for Better Homes and Garden covers or headed straight for the top of the list of crime scene investigations.
- What do we do with all our shoes that we no longer wear or need? What quirky craft can I use them for? Boots make handy pencil holders and pumps are perfect for propping up mobile phones.
- Don’t tell me to Swipe Up or Swipe Right, that’s another 40cm of toilet paper down the drain.
- Did you know that you could actually run out of things to watch on Netflix and Prime Video?
- Have you had your jogging pants epiphany yet? No? It goes like this: I don’t have enough of them for Home Office!
- Someone said that we will all emerge from this either as chunks or hunks – skunks anyone?
It’s Friday again… so what? For everything else there is chocolate!