Today is my parents´53rd wedding anniversary, and I write this in the present tense because I believe wedding anniversaries are timeless, regardless of where the couple is now.
I have mixed memories of Mommy and Daddy celebrating their anniversary, and for as long as I lived at home, it always included me. They were definitely not the type of couple that had date night, and to be honest, I don’t thing they even knew the concept of date night for married couples. Nevertheless, anniversaries were something to celebrate, and because this is my parents we are talking about, it was done in a very low-key manner.
When they both passed away in 2016 and I sorted through their things, I found their wedding rings. For some inexplicable reason, they never wore wedding rings, one of the few couples of their generation who didn’t. It never struck me as strange until Mommy showed me the rings one day and I was absolutely shocked to realise that my parents actually had wedding rings! That got me thinking about the whole concept of rings and couples. Why is it that society insists (demands?) that couples wear wedding bands? If you take a closer look at them, the bottom line is that rings become symbols of ownership and chains. Is that what marriage is really boils down to? Two golden chain links that define a lifetime. Does a couple who truly love one another really need rings to shout out to the world that they belong to one another and with each other? The romantic me who existed once upon a time used to believe so. Now I am not so convinced anymore. True love and partnership cannot possibly be defined or explained by two rings.
My parents had anything but the perfect marriage, but they were living proof to me that love and partnership need not be confined to rings alone. They spent 50 years married to one another without their rings, and yet they were each others one true love and partner. So wherever you are today, dearest Mommy and Daddy, Happy Anniversary and thank you for defying convention.