Reclaiming My Home

Turbulence is an unwelcome guest, but often times unavoidable. Serenity and Balance are my preferred guests but also high maintenance ones. It is so much easier to just let Turbulence in, who usually has Chaos and Confusion in tow, give them free range of the place, and allow them to do what they do best – an unholy mess. Turbulence can be asked to leave politely, but Chaos and Confusion, when left to their own devices, like to remain invite Hurt, Disillusionment, and Frustration over as well for an extended soiree, unpleasantly rooted inside my home and soul, much to…

Crossroads and Rebirth

Eight months ago my daughter moved in with me, taking a semester off to recover from depression, anxiety and a host of other problems. She was in a deep, dark place, her soul broken, disappointed with herself, and disillusioned with the world. We set out to heal and find a new source of motivation that would build up her self-esteem and confidence. The artist and musician were shattered, and my daughter needed her mother and a friend. Our journey over the last months has been shared on this blog several times over, since it was not just her journey but…

Rescued: Netty Sparrow (Part III)

A free bird leapson the back of the wind   and floats downstream   till the current endsand dips his wingin the orange sun raysand dares to claim the sky. But a bird that stalksdown his narrow cagecan seldom see throughhis bars of ragehis wings are clipped and   his feet are tiedso he opens his throat to sing. The caged bird sings   with a fearful trill   of things unknown   but longed for still   and his tune is heard   on the distant hill   for the caged bird   sings of freedom. The free bird thinks of another breezeand the trade winds soft through the sighing treesand the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright…

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas… The Nest is Full Again

To call 20-year-olds children is a huge mistake, but from a mother’s perspective, they will always be children to me. My daughter and her boyfriend arrived two nights ago from Florence and Exeter respectively, and will spend Christmas with me. And just like that, my little apartment is full, the cats are excited to have other human company again, and things are different. Funny how we spend 18 years raising our children at home, grumbling at all the work and challenges that this fixed – and stressful – routine brings. Our lives are pinned to a school calendar and a…

Not-so-terrible Two’s

September seems to be my month with two-year-olds, literally and figuratively, and although I find it rather strange, it is endearing at the same time. Most of my friends are in my age range (50s and 60s), give or take a few years, but the common denominator we have is our children are all in their 20s and above. Many of us have absolutely nothing to do anymore with toddlers, unless of course they have recently been promoted to grand-parenting. If I receive an invitation to a birthday party at all these days it is for a 50th, 60th or…

Slivers of Silver

Summer has left the building! It came without any warning last weekend, and suddenly the cats and I woke up to a chilly morning of 11c, after having gone through the Berlin heatwave the previous weeks. The day before we were still riding the low 30s and high 20s, and it was still very much Summer around here. But on Saturday morning it was no longer pleasant to sit in the conservatory and have breakfast with all the doors and windows open. On the contrary, we had to go around shutting most of them and snuggle under blankets. Autumn is…

The Thing About Birthdays

My parents were never big on celebrating birthdays with parties. I can’t really explain it, and to be perfectly honest, it never occurred to me to ask them why. In later years I assumed it was an attitude that resulted from the war, but neither one of them grew up with the tradition of big birthday parties. Consequently, this is how I raised my daughter as well, giving her a choice of party or trip. Since my birthday is in July, it always landed during summer holidays, when everyone I would have invited was gone fur summer anyway, or we…