One of the questions that I regret not asking myself sooner in so many situations in my life is Why are you still there? In retrospect, I realised that I was just too scared of the consequences of walking way, fear of the unknown and uncertainty. More often than not, I wished my mirror had that magic power to talk back and tell me a few truths that I needed to hear, like Why are you clinging to four walls where love has already left, where the warmth and connection that once drew you in have vanished, leaving only cold silence, tension, and emptiness? You tell yourself you stay for duty, for family, for love, but what you are really doing is shrinking yourself, erasing your own needs, and pretending that your suffering is noble. It isn’t. Endurance is not proof of love. It is proof that fear has taken hold.
Every day you remain, a little piece of you dies. The spark that once made you hopeful, the lightness that once allowed you to laugh freely, the strength that once demanded respect, all of it fades. You live in quiet compromise, in routines that suffocate, in words unsaid and resentments swallowed. And slowly, almost invisibly, bitterness creeps in. It begins as irritation, frustration, a tightening in your chest, and before you know it, it has rooted itself in your soul. It twists your thoughts, poisons your joy, and convinces you that suffering in silence is love, that martyrdom is virtue. But it’s not. Bitterness is a thief. It steals your energy, your hope, your clarity, and it leaves behind only a hollow version of yourself.
Ask yourself: how long will you let this continue? How many more nights will you lie awake pretending everything is fine while inside you feel numb, resentful, unseen? How long before the walls that once protected you become a cage? Love is not meant to hurt this way. Respect is not meant to be optional. Peace is not meant to be sacrificed for the sake of someone else’s comfort. You were not born to shrink so that others could feel secure.
Leaving is terrifying. Yes, it is. The unknown is frightening. Change is brutal. But staying where love no longer exists is far worse. It’s a slow, relentless erosion of your soul. It’s a life lived in shadow, a life where bitterness becomes your closest companion and regret your constant echo. You owe it to yourself to recognise that staying is not selfless. It is self-destruction.
There is no courage in martyrdom. There is no honour in silently bleeding for the sake of others. True courage is facing the truth: that the walls around you are hollow, that the life you’re holding onto is a lie, and that the peace, joy, and love you crave are out there—but only if you are brave enough to leave. Step out. Step away. Reclaim yourself before the bitterness consumes you entirely. Don’t wait until your spirit is unrecognisable to the person you once were. You deserve a life where love is real, where kindness is present, where your presence is celebrated, not tolerated.
Look in the mirror and ask yourself: am I living, or am I surviving? Because there’s a difference, and the longer you cling to what’s dead, the further you are from ever knowing the life you were meant to have.
New from The Esoteric Frog:
Healing the Home: Feng Shui After The Loss of a Loved One
Bye Bye Bumper: Feng Shui For Old and New Cars
In case you missed it:
FrogDiva Thoughts 