I am not really sure what a more appropriate title for today’s entry can or should be. It has been such a bizarre week that I thought it better to err on the side of caution and focus on the here and now. Mindfulness? Yes, but also a sense of imbalance, a perturbance in the universe that is a precurser of better things to come. I’m sitting at my usual table in my little cafe, with highlights of last night’s Portuguese parliamentary session is running on CNN Portugal with everyone being temperamentally emotional, meanwhile the patrons of the cafe are all stumbling into the new day. Friday. Finally.
The baker seems to have scrimped on the butter for this morning’s croissant, and the resulting dryness a tad difficult to swallow compared to other mornings. Hmmm, pretty much like the week that just was. I’m painfully aware that I am being nitpicky this morning but when you get used to a certain standard and are spoiled by good quality, the smallest of changes resonate loud and clear. It’s interesting how the constancy of the simplest and almost mundane things can bring so much comfort to the day, and yet, the smallest of digressions can spell all the difference. I suppose you could equate it to a small hand squeeze or even a wink, a minute gesture that can be such balm to the soul. All this philosophising just because my croissant has less butter this morning?! Yeah, go figure.
All I crave is silence and peace this weekend to digest the last five days. A couple of doors from my past slammed shut, finally closing some chapters that had remained ajar over the years, never really finding closure, which has always bothered me and trigged a million and one “what ifs” and “should I reach out?”, but always cowering in my own shadows of insecurity. I am not really sure what I was expecting, an apology, a good-bye, a reprimand, or even a guilt trip, but the old saying time heals all wounds is true, and this is the advantage of reaching your midlife. You can finally look back and say, damn it took 15 years but that freaky chapter of my life is finally done. And I realise now, of course with the benefit of hindsight, that the tragic and turbulent way things ended back then were the best thing that could have happened. Damn, that missing butter is really getting to me.
Today’s shots are part of a recurring theme of dawn, but also a visualisation of my daily serenity prayer. TGIF!