Das Denglische Weihnachtsgedicht 2019

(this is something I post every year and my attitude towards it changes from one year to another)

Enlightened Christmas ©FrogDiva Photography

When the last Kalender-sheets
flattern through the winter-streets
and Dezemberwind is blowing,
then ist everybody knowing
that it is not allzuweit:
she does come – the Weihnachtszeit.

All the Menschen, Leute, people
flippen out of ihr warm Stüble,
run to Kaufhof, Aldi, Mess,
make Konsum and business.
Kaufen this und jene Dings
and the Churchturmglocke rings.

Manche holen sich a Tännchen,
when this brennt, they cry “Attention”.
Rufen for the Feuerwehr:
Please come quick to löschen her!
Goes the Tännchen of in Rauch,
they are standing on the Schlauch.

In the kitchen of the house
mother makes the Christmasschmaus.
She is working, schufting, bakes
it is now her Yoghurtkeks.
And the Opa says als Tester:
We are killed bis to Silvester.
Then he fills the last Glas wine –
yes, this is the Christmastime!

Day by day does so vergang,
and the Holy Night does come.
You can think, you can remember,
this is immer in Dezember.

Then the childrenlein are coming
candle-Wachs is abwärts running.
Bing of Crosby Christmas sings
while the Towerglocke rings
and the angels look so fine –
well this is the Weihnachtstime.

Baby-eyes are big and rund,
the family feels kerngesund
when unterm Weihnachtsbaum are hocking
then nothing can them ever shocking.
They are so happy, are so fine –
this happens in the Christmastime!

The animals all in the house,
the Hund, the Katz, the bird, the mouse,
are turning round the Weihnachtstree,
enjoy this day as never nie,
weil they find Kittekat and Chappi
in the geschenkkarton von Pappi.

The family begins to sing
and wieder does a Glöckchen ring.
Zum song vom grünen Tannenbaum
the Tränen rennen down and down.Bis our mother plötzlich flennt:
“The Christmas-Gans im Ofen brennt!”
Her nose indeed is very fine – Ende of the Weihnachtstime.
– author unknown  (just as well or else every language teacher would zerfleischen him or her) 

Denglish is a combination of German and English. I am an undisputed snob when it language purity and consider Denglish to be an abomination of both the German and English languages, in the same manner that I have 0% tolerance for Taglish (Tagalog and English)… There are many, however, who love it and subscribe to it. 

Here is the glossary:

Kalendar – calendar
flattern – flutter
allzuweit – not too far
Weihnachtszeit – Christmas time / season
Stüble (diminutive of Stube) – snuggery, cozy parlour
Konsum – consumption
Kaufen – buy
jene Dings – every item
Turmglocke – Tower bell
Manche holen sich a Tännchen (diminutive of Tanne) – some pick up a little fir tree
brennt – burns
löschen – to put out a fire (can also mean to delete)
Schlauch – hose
schmaus – meal
schuften – to toil
Kekse – cookies
Silvester- New Year’s Eve
vergang (from vergehen) – passes
immer – always
Wachs – wax
abwärts – downwards
Glocke – bell
rund – round
kerngesund – very healthy
unterm (contraction of unter dem) – beneath the
Weihnachtsbaum – Christmas tree
Hund – dog
Katz – cat
nie – never
Geschenkkarton – gift box
wieder – again
Zum song vom grünen Tannenbaum – for the green fir tree song
Tränen – tears
Bis – until
plötzlich – suddenly
flennt – blubbers, wails
Gans – goose
Ofen – oven
brennt – burns / is burning
zerfleischen – tear to pieces, mangle, make minced meat

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