Last year life felt as though I was in a tunnel with no flashlight, clueless about my surroundings, absolutely no sense of direction, and just needed to survive. As expected, when stuck in such a place, I stumbled, tripped, and collected several bruises, but I was not scared. Worried, perhaps, and sleepless most of the time, but never scared. After months of hard work, putting in the hours of research, therapy, and plain old courage to feel my way through the darkness.
If you recall, earlier this year I promised myself that 2019 would be my year to set things right. It is almost October and if do a quick evaluation, I didn’t quite clean up as well as I expected, but there were some unexpected turns in the road that made things really exciting, incredibly frustrating, and risky. Nevertheless, I am no longer afraid to leave the house and socialise, can stomach being rejected by literary agents, believe in my skills, and am open to new adventures (well, as long as I don’t break another shoulder). So here I am, facing my last quarter of 2019 and pulling out the big guns, so to speak.
Mood swings? Oh yes, and now I can’t even blame it on menopause anymore! But my therapist and two other medical friends re-assure me that considering what Life had the courtesy of dragging me through in the past years, it is a wonder I didn’t crack earlier.
Faith has pulled me through the darkest moments. And continues to do so in the most amazing ways. Am I still in the obnoxiously toxic tunnel? No, not at all, but I am not exactly Maria on the Austrian Alps singing The Hills Are Alive either! Huge progress has been made, and if truth be told, I am proud of what I have achieved thus far, but there is still a very long road to trudge. So let’s say that I am now in a poorly lit corridor, still clueless about what lies ahead, but at least I know now where I am headed!