Today’s blog is dedicated to all the Asian moms living outside of their country of birth and have gone through great lengths to preserve the cultural heritage of the kind of motherhood they grew up with. It is inspired by my own daughter, who had to laugh when I filled her carry-on with snacks for the airport and the flight (so she didn’t have to pay for the dry overpriced snacks on the plane).
There is a special phenomenon that occurs when Asian moms move to Europe. The scenery changes, the language changes, the weather definitely changes, but the mom remains exactly the same. You can take her out of Asia, but you will never, under any circumstances, take Asia out of her. It lives in her soul, her handbag, and most importantly, her kitchen.
A visit to an Asian mom’s home in Europe always begins the same way. You say you’re not hungry. She hears a personal challenge. Within minutes, the kitchen is alive with the sounds of chopping, boiling, frying, and the faint clatter of pots that have seen three generations of cooking. She will produce your childhood favourite foods from memory, even if you last mentioned them in 2009. She remembers everything. She may forget where she left her keys, but she will never forget that you liked extra dumplings as a child.
And just when you think you’ve survived the meal, she starts packing. No child leaves an Asian mother’s house empty-handed. Containers appear as if summoned by magic. There are cut fruits, cooked dishes, mystery sauces, snacks you didn’t ask for, and a plastic bag inside another plastic bag for structural support. She will send you home with enough food to survive a week-long expedition, even if your trip home is only twenty minutes. Refusing is not an option. Negotiating is futile. Accept your fate and carry the bags.
Some things are simply non-negotiable, no matter the continent. Inside the house, shoes are replaced with slippers or flip flops, even in the dead of winter. European radiators may be running at full power, but she will still warn that cold floors are dangerous to your health. Meanwhile, rice remains the foundation of every meal. Pasta, bread, or potatoes may be available in abundance outside, but at home there must always be rice. No rice? No meal. It’s not dinner without it.
Then comes the gossip. Ah, the sacred tradition. She will update you on every aunt, uncle, cousin, distant relative, and family friend — including people you have never met and are not entirely sure exist. She will show photos. She will explain complicated family trees. She will whisper dramatic revelations as if international spies are listening. You will nod respectfully, because interrupting is dangerous territory. By the end, you will feel like you’ve attended a season recap of a soap opera you never signed up for.
Living in Europe doesn’t change these habits. She will still insist you dress warmly, even in mild weather. She will still worry you’re not eating enough vegetables. She will still offer herbal remedies for problems you didn’t know you had. She will still ask why you haven’t married yet, gently at first, then not so gently.
But beneath the humor is something unmistakably comforting. These rituals are her way of showing love. The food, the concern, the gossip, the endless care, it’s how she keeps her family close, even across continents and cultures. Her version of home travels with her, stored in recipes, habits, and plastic containers with missing lids.
So yes, you can take the mom out of Asia. But Asia? Asia never leaves the mom.
FrogDiva Thoughts 