I blinked and August and September vanished. Even if you held me at gunpoint I wouldn’t be able to explain what happened during those two months. All I know is that 2024 is speeding down the highway of time at an alarming rate. We should have the right to fine time for overspending if you ask me. Alas, here we are in October, facing the last three months of the year and already it is time to look back and take stock.
Each year I promise myself that the next one will be better, brighter, more financially rewarding and filled with life changing milestones, and every time October rolls around I feel emotionally and mentally pummelled for simply having to survive from one month to the next. Is 2024 better than 2023? In a way yes, because I decided to throw caution to the wind and travel down a very adventurous path of the unknown, into uncharted waters that held promises of ultimate success and failure at the same time. Moral of the story? Feelancing is a bitch and a bigger and bitter beast than I ever anticipated. Nevertheless, regardless of the difficulties, there are no regrets on my sides, for all the professional growth accomplished, but this has not come without a truckload of sacrifice and loss.
The question is: am I where I am supposed to be? I have no idea. All I know is that if I stop now I will surely sink into the quicksand of defeat, and I refuse to do that. It’s just that some days are more difficult than others and the burdens and responsibilities feel heavier. What I do know is that one has to be quick in adapting to the new challenges and circumstances. Fame and fortune are not the keys to happiness. To success perhaps, but definitely not to happiness. Simple abundance is the key to my happiness, and that includes serenity, silence, happy and communicative cats, and the luxury of catering to my needs only. It sounds incredibly selfish at first glance, but after living five decades under the shadow of someone else and following dictated standards and norms, I get to call the shots. So to answer my own question, am I where I am supposed to be? Yes and no. Yes, I am definitely in the space and place I supposed to be, and I have unearthed my passion and purpose in life, but where am I heading? At what point do I stop climbing? When, if ever, should I turn back and retrace my steps to change course? At some point in my life all I wanted was to be a successful published writer and world recognised photographer, but somewhere down the line social media and a few other naysayers ruined that for me and I changed course. I realised that the constant need for validation that the younger generation seeks is an illusion and a lie we try to convince ourselves is a fundamental need. Once you reach your golden years, with the infinite wisdom and benefit of hindsight, you realise that all we really need is to be true to ourselves and be accountable to our soul for the achievements and unfulfilled dreams.
There are numerous articles on why more and more people are choosing the life of digital nomads, and I definitely subscribe to all of that. You have to keep in mind, however, that detaching yourself from the structures of society that you cling to and provide security necessitates a certain willingness to fail and walk the road less traveled. In short, emotional and mental maturity to start over and face all your demons.
Yes, it all happened in the blink of an eye and the click of a mouse button. I suppose it all comes back to my decision to be a recluse, far removed from civil society and live a quiet life. This of course has consequences, but also opened up new doors that I never considered for myself before. It might have taken me five years to finally learn to cook single portions instead of four, but I eventually got there. Whilst I can binge watch six seasons of a favourite crime or medical drama series, I definitely can’t watch a horror movie alone! And yes, it is perfectly fine to talk to cats and expect them to respond in kind. After all, what kind of animal communicator would I be if I didn’t talk to them?
In the blink of an eye – my life on my terms.
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