This was going to be another sappy Mother’s Day blog entry, until I sat shivering at the dining table having my brunch. All thoughts turned to the black shawl draped over the sofa that is more than a trusty old friend, and I smiled and shed a few tears at the same time at the memory of my mother and what this shaw represents.
Mother’s Day is very confusing for me because I have gone through several paradigm shifts over the years. My parents and I moved to Mexico in in 1974, and from that year onwards until 1982, we celebrated the Mexican Mother’s Day which is fixed on May 10th. After we left Mexico and moved back to the Philippines, we culturally shifted to celebrating Mother’s Day on the second Sunday of May, following the North American and Central European tradition. But when we lived in Thailand for two years, my brain had to shift gears again to accommodate Mother’s Day being pegged to the Queen’s birthday sometime in August. The Iberian Peninsula, however, celebrates Mother’s Day on the first Sunday of May, which hasn’t really sunk in with Maike (who lives in Spain) or me (in Portugal), so I am sticking to my guns and observing the second Sunday of May anyway. But the truth is, the older I get the less I give a damn about Mother’s Day because every day is Mother’s Day and if you are not celebrating your mothers and grandmothers accordingly then you are doing something terribly wrong.
During the early days of our arrival in Irapuato (Mexico) back in 1974, some of the wives of my father’s colleagues showed my mom around town, and introduced her to the local shopping areas as well as charity projects they were involved in, especially knowing she was a nurse and wanted to volunteer somehow, just like she did in Kenya. One of these projects was a home for the aged where the residents knitted and crocheted shawls and tableware to raise money for the home. Mommy selected a large black shawl and a dainty white one with pompoms. She wore the white one on several formal occasions over the years but the black was more of a comfort item during winters, something I always saw around me but never really took full cognisance of. All I knew was that it was huge and warm, and far too large for me to wear as a child unless I needed a canopy for an improvised tent.
Years passed and when we moved back to the Philippines in 1982 the shawls were stored at the very back of Mommy’s cabinet. With the Philippine heat and humidity, there would be no use for these items anymore, but she couldn’t bring herself to part with them either. Another decade passed and I found myself packing and getting ready to move to Germany in 1993 to embark on a new life. Mommy extracted the black and white shawls and added them to my wardrobe, saying that they would surely come in handy in Europe. The black shawl was still too large for me and whenever I wore it around friends or colleagues over the years it was fondly referred to as my Batman cape, and the name stuck. Sadly, I misplaced the white shawl between the many moves over the years but the Batman cape found a permanent place among my winter wardrobe and never left my side. It was my most reliable source of warmth during pregnancy in India, as it was the only item of clothing large enough to cover my large belly and still appear presentable since none of the coats or jackets fit after the sixth month!
After my mother passed away in 2016, the Batman cape became a greater source of comfort for me, and each time I feel the need to be closer to Mommy, I simply wrap the cape around me. It’s the closest thing I will ever come to being hugged by her again. But life goes on and as my daughter grew up, she too found herself draping the Batman cape around her on cold winder days while snuggling on the sofa.
Some of the fringes are frayed now, but on the whole, considering that the shawl is 50 years old this year, it is in mint condition. Three generations of women have found solace in it, and it was made by hands who had lived a full life as a mother and grandmother. I hope to one day be able to wrap my grandchild in it as well.
FrogDiva Thoughts 