88

Dear Universe,
It’s me again, Froggy, and today I want to explore the peculiar coincidence that today, August 16, 2022 my mother’s birthday, she would have been 88 years old, the same year I turned 55. I’m not a great numerology connnoisseur, I do know enough to sit up and listen to your messages surrounding double numbers.

I miss her, dear Universe, every day of my life. There isn’t an incident or image that I don’t wish I could share with her, wish that I could hear her excited comment over the phone, or even just a text message. On some days, I even miss her scoldings! Strangely enough, the older I get, the more I catch myself becoming her. They say that you eventually turn into one of your parents, something I scoffed at in my youth. But all I have to do is look down at my feet or hands, or catch myself responding in a certain way or tone, and I know I have much more of my mom in me than I thought.

I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you Universe, for giving me Linda as my mother. There isn’t another woman who would have been better suited take up that role, to have given birth to a child with such physical defects and still stand by me through all the surgeries, hold my hand in comfort and encouragement, fight the hospital staff for their heartlessness and inconsideration, defend me against bullies who dished out sarcastic and snide remarks. This is the woman who made sure I stood my ground no matter what, who taught me what tough love was all about, but also the gentle soul who showed me what generosity, kindness and unconditional love was all about.

Mommy was no academic intellect, but she was was so well educated, and understood the meaning of service to the family and society on such a profound level, her commitment stemming from her oath as a nurse, a devout catholic, and the daughter of a judge. She believed in justice, peace, and equality and would have made one hell of a lawyer, had she been given the opportunity to pursue it. Of all my grandfather’s children, my mother would have been the best suited to follow in his footsteps. Alas, money was tight and her father wanted to ensure that all his children received a solid college education, and that meant that certain compromises had to be made along the way. She always wanted to learn how to play the piano, for example, and would turn melancholy and nostalgic each time she watched a pianist become one with the music.

Her legacy, dear Universe, is in the lives she changed with her acts of kindness and generosity, her advice, yes, even her fiery scoldings! be it among her family members, friends or prayer group. She was blunt and didn’t bother nesting around the bush, oh but she could love unconditionally! God I miss her so, as a friend, mother and fellow traveler!

So thank you, Universe, for giving me Linda as my mother and best friend. She was a joy to laugh with, my greatest comfort when I was down, and my fountain of wisdom when I was lost. She continues to send me love messages through sparrows, and guide me in ways I cannot even begin to explain. For some reason she is colluding with you and has led me to Portugal- to fulfill her dreams and weave new ones for myself.

As always, FrogDiva