Let it not be written on my tombstone that I was a coward and never dared to push the limits out of my comfort zone. There are times I wish I could have been in better possession of my faculties to avoid certain stupid mistakes along the way, but hey, if I hadn’t stumbled and fallen flat on my face I never would have paid attention to the texture of the ground beneath me or noticed the smell of soil as you imbibe its aroma. Life lessons come in all shapes and sizes, and more often than not, at the most unexpected moments.
It has been over a week now that the night terrors have returned and I find myself wide awake at the most bizarre hours of the night, scared to death to close my eyes and fall back into nightmares of persecution and imprisonment. So these are the time when I take stock of who I am, why I am the way I am, what I have accomplished thus far, and where I want to go next. No, I certainly don’t expect to answer any of these questions overnight, but I think that the mere fact that I am disturbed by the questions is a good thing, because it means I still have the inner drive to push forward and jump over this stupid wall that seems determined to pin me down.
My daughter requested that we re-watch Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone for the umpteenth time, and I can never say no to a Harry Potter movie. At this point we can probably recite the lines alongside the actors, but we still laugh at Professor McGonagall (I even wear my own transfiguration hat!) and get angry at Draco Malfoy and Aunt Petunia, and each time I find something new to take away with me. This time it was the scene when Harry, Ron and Hermione get caught in Devil’s Snare. That is exactly how I feel at the moment, choked by all sorts of situations and everything made worse by the lockdown and social distancing. But the message here was not to allow evil to take over your life, body and soul, but to fight it with light.
The inner FrogDiva.
I have neglected her of late, and allowed her to be trampled over by outsiders, forgetting to protect her at all costs. Well she’s back, and with a vengeance, unwilling to take any more bullshit sitting down. It is still Easter, and I have taken the message of resurrection to heart.