Christmas Countdown Day 7: Pursuit of Light

New Dawn ©FrogDiva Photography

“Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.”
-John O’Donohue, Anam Cara

There are days when my soul craves for the wisdom of John O’Donohue, and today is no exception, the constant pursuit of light in the dark. Nostalgia and sadness crept into my home like the fog, uninvited and unexpected. The decade and year is coming to an end, dragging along Impatience and Frustration with them. They seem to be commanders of all the things that didn’t fall into place as I expected them to, but then these are events that are not in my power to control.

My soul knows the geography of my destiny much better than my brain does, so I lean on Faith and let her lead me down the path. Along the way we encounter Advent and Kindness, both travellers who insist on keeping me company, like two pesky salesmen out to pull the wool over my eyes.

Advent is only along for the short stretch, reminding me that the Gospel of Mark tells us to Prepare the Way, the fundamental premise for Advent. I tell him that Much as I would have loved to be on retreat during this time and be in solitary spiritual confinement somewhere up in the Himalayas, I walk the cold pavement of Berlin and am engulfed by the winter air, hoping and praying that the challenges that I faced this year do not carry over to 2020.

Kindness, on the other hand, places his arm around me and whispers that the #kindnessmatters campaign is a two-way street, and it only works if I learn to be kind to myself first and foremost. Time to stop beating myself up for things beyond my control.

I am so tired of the struggle, fed up with surviving and looking forward to a big break in my chosen field of expertise. So I take my friends by the hand and promise not to freak out of Destiny decides to re-route me.

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