My Inner Raccoon

Before you get any ideas, no, I am certainly not giving up the beloved frog as spiritual manifestation or anything… The frog is too precious for me to give up. No, today we shall walk on the lighter side of life and discover that mysterious inner raccoon (Waschbär, wasbeer, or mapache).

The premise has a very basic beginning – vanity gone wrong. This morning as I got ready for work and put on my make-up, I looked into my rather spartan make-up drawer and decided to use kajal, something I very rarely do because although I love the effect on the eyes, it always smears. Well, since it was a chilly 6C outside, I figured that the chances of kajal running were very slim. Hmmmm. Let´s call this Mistake #1 shall we?

By the time I reached the office an hour later, my eyes had apparently grown bat wings. Uh oh. so much for my theory. Good thing nobody was in yet, so i quickly did a minor repair job. Mistake #2. So much for vanity.

An hour later the second coffee of the day had gone through my digestive system and I desperately had use the loo. When I looked in the mirror the image that stared back at me absolutely horrified me. The kajal had smeared even more and as I wiped it off huge black circles formed around my eyelids and eye bags. There was a raccoon in blue in that bathroom washing her hands. Damn. Mistake #3. I swear I was so stumped at that point that I wasn´t sure whether to laugh or cry. OK, so this time it was no longer a case of repair but total eradication.

Now it isn´t just my eyes that were raccoony (is that even a word?). But remember that raccoons are the trash pandas of the world, experts at finding treasures among the mountains of trash. There is a lesson to be learned here, as I stared at all the boxes in my basement storage last night. My purpose was to dispose (sniff) of Champagne´s things and put away the Halloween decorations, but found a few items I had long forgotten.

The thing about raccoons – they don´t give a damn about how they look or smell, sorting through trash is not demeaning, but fun and exciting, and at the end of the day, they are fat, fluffy, have no material attachments in this world, and are perfectly happy in the company of friends or enjoy their solitude from time to time. Hell yes, bring on that inner raccoon!

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