Does anyone remember the original Mission Impossible TV series opening scene with the burning match? Here, let me remind you:
Then there are the timeless words of the mission: Your mission Dan/Jim, should you choose/decide to accept it, … As always, should you or any of your IM Force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This tape/disc will self-destruct in five/ten seconds. (source: wikiquote).
This is exactly how I feel about the ending of September – it seems to have self-destructed in five seconds. I blinked and it was the beginning of the month. I blinked again, and here we are, in the last week. Summer is over, I walked in the first fog of the autumn mornings to my bus stop, and wondered how on earth I managed to scrape through 3/4 of this year without self-destructing along the way. Mind you, I had every reason to do so, but bullheaded that I tend to be, I am too stubborn to be pulled down, no matter how hard the outside forces try.
As I reached home yesterday, I found my neighbour outside the building having a moment with her little boys, who were unhappy with the world and were at odds with all and sundry. I thought to myself, this is exactly how I feel, and wished I was two years old again, with every right to throw a tantrum. Well, I suppose I could have done so within my own four walls but it seemed too undignified. In any case, I looked up and noticed some grumpy, grimy, construction workers on the scaffolding. Sighing, I wondered what was coming our way this time, as if the prolonged presence of the ugly structures wasn´t torture enough. Lo and behold, I blinked twice to make sure I was seeing correctly… after 14 very long months, the scaffolding was finally coming down! Wow! Talk about messages from the universe. If you remember my initial blog on this monstrosity (followed by four others), I interpreted the scaffolding as part of my emotional recovery process, the necessary evil that surrounded and protected me while undergoing repairs.
Looking back at those 14 months that have transpired, it occurred to me that it was indeed time to let go of my own scaffolding and face the world with renewed conviction. There are a million and one flaws still to be dealt with, but the primary structure is sound, and can weather the coming winter. The release of the scaffolding is also means an unveiling of sorts, a revelation of the new facade that is ready to shine bright in spite of the fog and the rain. Mission accomplished – in spite of the seeming impossibility of it all.