Difficulties of Healing

I write this with great difficulty today, simply because my shoulder is absolutely killing me. The first batch of therapy sessions is over, and the healing process is well underway, albeit the excrutiating pain. The physiotherapist did warn me that the worst is yet to come, and that is a good sign. The trouble with broken bones is that it is pretty much like a broken spirit, there is no medicine that can speed up the healing, you just have to give it time.

There is a beautiful quote I want to share with you today:
You can’t heal where you got sick.
Try as I might, I cannot find the original author of this phrase. Many sources attribute it to Eric Masiano, but others have claimed it as well, so I let it be and hope that someday I find the true author.

My daughter and I are living proof of this truth. The places that broke us have not been the same places we have healed in. I don’t really want to list the places and reasons that broke me, suffice it to say that distance and time are the best medicine, not drugs, sex or alcohol. The old adage time heals all wounds is not 100% accurate. Distance and walking away from the scene of the crime are the most important steps that establish the foundation for healing and trigger new beginnings.

As I rebuild my life and identity, one of the questions I am often asked (and keep asking myself) is whether I would go back if I could.
Go back where?
In time?
What for?
I already know now that what I had back then failed and left me hollow, so why on earth would I want to re-live that? We learn from our failures and mistakes, and it is the strong who are able to walk away and start over, no matter how difficult it turns out to be. Wallowing in the past is toxic, and using your ex as an excuse is an even bigger mistake. Don’t forget that there were good days as well, and these are what got you through and in some ways, moulded your spirit. You can’t take all the credit!

I had an incredible surreal meeting with a photographer last Friday. I don’t want to spill the beans too early, but just let me say that this new project is a huge step forward for me in my healing journey. I am taking yet another gigantic risk and overcoming massive fears that have chained me down for decades. But in the right hands, and with the proper guidance, everything is possible.

Healing is no walk in the park, and we grumble throughout the entire process. It is incredibly easy to be overwhelmed by the pain and blinded by the frustration, but keeping in mind that there would be no pain if there was nothing broken, I have learned to accept it and be grateful for the healing process.

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