On The First Day of Christmas… Let Me Be A Grinch

My pants pinch around the waist;
it is the wrong time of the year to go on a diet; 
Christmas cookies should be banned, especially baking them; 
It is dark when it should be bright and sunny; 
How can it be 7:00am already? It is still midnight dark outside!
The heater can’t warm me fast enough;
It is impossible to be warm and fashionable with all the layers;
There are gifts to be bought, but time and ideas fail me;
Berlin traffic is not as bad as Manila or Bangkok, but the rudeness… ;
Winter seems to be an excuse to smoke at every pedestrian stoplight; 

The nordic winds are impetuous and cruel,
who gave them permission to chill my bones anyway?
I’m sure that is a violation of data protection and privacy… 

I hate winter; 
Don’t like mulled wine; 
Christmas markets are overcrowded;
Is it my imagination or is everything more expensive at the moment? 
Rainy winter days just makes everything worse; 
Cyclists think they own the world and all the sidewalks; 

Yes, I am being a grinch and I need to be one at the moment. 
Let me blow my top at all those who don’t see things my way, 
or ask the impossible; 
I just want to wallow in my misery and never have to step out into the cold;

The subway trains are late;
the buses overcrowded; 
People have forgotten how to cover their nose and mouth when they cough, sneeze, or yawn; 
somebody give that man a case of deodorant! 
why are ripped jeans in winter even legal? 

I am a menopausal grouch
and a woeful Grinch
but just for today, 
or maybe tomorrow? 

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