Where did the weekend go? I have no idea but my body and soul tell me I did something horribly wrong and didn’t get enough rest, or any rest at all. It was significantly past midnight when I finally crashed into bed. I mistakenly live under the illusion that in living alone I have less to do around the house, but that is pure fantasy.
In spite of the exhaustion, however, I am relieved that I was finally able to dispose of several boxes in my basement. The packing material from last year’s move have been cluttering my storage space and it drove me nuts. A long overdue trip to the local recycling depot was first on the list. Strange as thought it may be to write this, it was a pleasure to see my boxes be crushed by the recycling container, like a hungry insatiable monster. It is not that I am catering to my violent side, but I realise now why so many writers and script writers have their characters die a horrible death in junk yards and recycling depots… to watch something you desperately wanted to get rid off be irreversibly crushed was a rush, knowing that I had finally taken a step forward in de-cluttering my life.
During the short period that I lived in Manila from 2016 – 2017 I had the luxury of sharing my mother’s “angels”, or her household help. When my parents passed away I “inherited” them and life was much easier to plan, to a certain extent. Handymen’s fees didn’t cost me the earth and neither did the materials. The same was true for my life in Thailand and India, so it was a serious reality check to return to Germany, where plumbing, electricity or carpentry services are something you resort to if you cannot resolve it via DIY, or have a friend to ask. These are the times I am so grateful to my father for teaching me how to use tools!
Creating space and discarding clutter have been recurring themes in my life, but never so significant as the process of the last 15 months. It is one thing to dispose of material possessions and learn not to to carry so much around, and another to get rid of emotional baggage. Both free up space and usher in fresh air, or in my case, allow me more flexibility to move things around and reorganise. It is back to the drawing board to re-draft my list of priorities. Time to stop looking in my past for something that I no longer have room for in my present, and don’t particularly want to carry with me into the future.