Farewell, Dear Jace

Categories: ADMU · Culture Vulture · Existentialism · Family · Jesuit · Mourning · Social Condition10 Comments

On my very first day of class as a college freshman at the Ateneo de Manila University, I met Jason in my English Honours class. We were the chosen ones to learn from the wisdom and brilliance of the late Doreen Fernandez, and were all a bit intimated by life, college, and being an Atenean. I felt completely overwhelmed by the environment, but Jace smiled and introduced himself, making me feel at ease right away. Later on that freshman week, I met two other girls who, together with Jace, irreversibly became pillars of my soul. Together we formed an inseparable…

My Soul Finds Itself Alone

Categories: a woman's strength · Battling depression · Culture Vulture · Existentialism · Mourning · Nostalgia · prayer and photography · Surviving lossLeave a comment

Thy soul shall find itself alone ‘Mid dark thoughts of the grey tomb-stone; Not one, of all the crowd, to pry Into thine hour of secrecy. Be silent in that solitude, Which is not loneliness — for then The spirits of the dead, who stood In life before thee, are again In death around thee, and their will Shall overshadow thee; be still. The night, though clear, shall frown, And the stars shall not look down From their high thrones in the Heaven With light like hope to mortals given, But their red orbs, without beam, To thy weariness shall…

Undas et co

Categories: a woman's strength · Battling depression · Culture Vulture · Existentialism · Midlife Crossroads · Mourning · Nostalgia · Photography · prayer and photography · Religion and Faith · Social Condition · Traveler's TalesLeave a comment

I grew up with the Halloween – All Saints Day – All Souls Day fusion version of North America, Mexico and the Philippines. My mother decorated the house for Halloween and kept the decorations up for the colourful and lively Mexican Dia de los Muertos, then we paid homage to the dearly beloved in the tradition of the Filipino Undas (All Saints Day and All Souls Day). Think of it as scramble eggs that went trick or treating in the cemetery… sweet, colorful, and somehow supposed to be nourishing for the cultural soul. Burp. A couple of decades ago, my parents…

To Have Loved and Lost

Categories: a woman's strength · Battling depression · Existentialism · Family · Mourning · Surviving lossLeave a comment

Two years ago Death took away a woman whose endless love and unconditional friendship moulded me. She defined my character, shaped the values that sustain my soul, and taught me everything about supporting those you love through the triumphs and defeats. I could have been a social recluse all my life, shying away from the world because of my physical defects. But my mother took no bullshit from me and pushed me to compensate for the cruel stares and comments by excelling academically and being a leader in extra curricular activities. I owe her my strength and stubbornness, and the…

After The Destruction

Categories: a woman's strength · Battling depression · Existentialism · Mourning · Nostalgia · prayer and photography · Religion and Faith · Surviving lossLeave a comment

Now that you have entered with an open heart Into a complex and fragile situation, Hoping with patience and respect To tread softly over sore ground in order That somewhere beneath the raw estrangement Some fresh spring of healing might be coaxed To release the grace for a new journey Beyond repetition and judgement, And have achieved nothing of that, But emerged helpless, and with added hurt… Withdraw for a while into your own tranquillity, Loosen from your heart the new fester. Free yourself of the wounded gaze That is not yet able to see you. Recognize your responsibility for…

History of A Day

Categories: Culture Vulture · Family · Mourning · Nostalgia · Surviving loss · Through Frog EyesLeave a comment

The Inner History of a Day  No one knew the name of this day; Born quietly from deepest night, It hid its face in light, Demanded nothing for itself, Opened out to offer each of us A field of brightness that travelled ahead, Providing in time, ground to hold our footsteps And the light of thought to show the way. The mind of the day draws no attention; It dwells within the silence with elegance To create a space for all our worlds, Drawing us to listen inwards and outwards. We seldom notice how each day is a holy place…

In Memory of An Anniversary

Categories: a woman's strength · Adventures in my own home · Battling depression · Culture Vulture · Existentialism · Family · Food Adventures · Mourning · Nostalgia · Philippines · Surviving lossLeave a comment

Two years ago to date my parents celebrated their Golden Wedding anniversary. I would like to share an old blog entry (written on another platform) dating back ton 2013, when I still lived in New Delhi, that was also written for their anniversary. My parents celebrated their wedding anniversary yesterday, September 17 but the road to the cutest celebration ever was full of potholes – memory loss potholes that is. This was a an example of how a family functions via internet… since we couldn’t physically be with my parents in Manila to celebrate, I did the next best thing…