There comes a moment in every career, every relationship, every life when you realise you’re not really being invited to the table. You’re being tolerated. You’re being included out of obligation, not value. You’re there, but not to speak, just to observe. Not to lead, just to listen.
Admittedly, these are brutally frank words, but in continuation with my Empowerment Series this month, this is another topic that is close to my heart. I always write from the heart, but I also write from experience, and being an afterthought, having to settle with the status quo, and being tolerated instead of wholeheartedly included, is something that has haunted me for decades.
Too many of us spend years waiting to be noticed. We show up early, work harder, say less, play nice. We think that eventually someone will pull out a chair and say, “We see you. You belong here.”
But the longer you wait, the clearer it becomes: you’re not forgotten; you’re being sidelined.
Let me share a personal philosophy with you, a guiding principle that has subjected me to both criticism and skepticism simply because I chose to walk away and set up my own table, and hell yes, cook my own meal: You are never meant to beg for space. You were born to create it.
The tables we’ve spent years trying to fit into were often built with outdated blueprints, designed for a time when conformity mattered more than creativity, hierarchy mattered more than collaboration, and silence was mistaken for professionalism. So why are we still trying to sit there, hoping for leftovers?
If your ideas are met with silence, your presence goes unacknowledged, or your growth feels stalled, you don’t need to “prove yourself” again. Instead, it is time to pivot; to evolve; launch the project; speak the truth; break the mould. Leadership today doesn’t always wear a title or sit behind a big desk. It starts when you stop shrinking to fit into rooms too small for your vision.
You Belong. Period. Your experience, your perspective, your voice; none of it is “extra.” You are not a backup plan. Not a diversity checkbox. Not someone’s safe bet. You belong not because someone else says so, but because you bring something real, something earned, something only you can offer. The minute you stop waiting to be chosen and start choosing yourself, everything changes. People will notice. Some will resist. Let them. That’s how you know you’re doing something bold.
Some of the most successful people in the world didn’t climb up traditional ladders. They built entirely new ones simply because they got tired of playing small at someone else’s table. They realised outdated systems weren’t designed for innovation, inclusion, or bold new thinking. So they started their own rooms. Their own businesses. Their own conversations. And you can, too.
You are never an afterthought.
You are always a force.
FrogDiva Thoughts 