There is a catch phrase that caught my eye recently on social media – the high value woman. There are all sorts of campaigns on personal transformation and how to become the high value woman but I have to admit that this phrase disturbed me deeply from the very beginning because in my mind all women should be considered high value. So I decided to go behind the scenes and do a little digging.
By definition, the high value woman in the current pop culture refers to a woman who has a very high emotional intelligence and as such, embraces her femininity, is self-confident, has a high self-esteem and knows her self-worth. Because she projects and believes all this, she is also intuitive, nurturing, creative and empathetic. In short, the high value woman stands out in the social and professional world as a highly evolved and fulfilled individual. Going by the current trends and definitions, a high value woman is a “true feminist”, because she motivates other women towards self-empowerment and encourages them not to get involved in activities where they not be respected or ranked accordingly.
Let us begin with the distinction between feminism and high value woman. Feminism addresses women’s socio-political roles in society, including but not limited to equal rights and opportunities. The high value woman, on the other hand, focuses entirely on personal growth and self-empowerment, regardless of the socio-economic-political ramifications. Whereas feminism seeks to break and transcend outdated and oppressive boundaries, the high value woman seeks to establish, define and defend personal boundaries.
My issue is not with feminism, but rather with the definition and scope of the high value woman. Let’s begin with the terminology – high value. When you use this particular phrase, it places a monetary aspect to the concept, thereby objectifying the person as someone that is part of a transaction, making them a commodity. Jewellery, works of art, real estate, cars and other modes of transportation, these are high value commodities. A human being is valuable and there can never be a price tag placed on the soul, spirit, or life. So to say that a woman is considered of high value only when she is emotionally intelligent, confident, intuitive, creative, highly evolved, nurturing, kind, leads a balanced life and has healthy relationships on top of all the other roles that she has to carry out as well, makes it almost an impossible ideal.
First of all, how is the modern high value woman worth more than all the centuries of women who have gone before us? Does the modern high value woman discredit all our mothers and grandmothers who raised us and nullify all the values passed down that shaped our beliefs and core strength? What if you are going through a rough patch in life, and need to depend on others for help, does that automatically revert you back to a low value woman? I dislike the terminology intensely, and the concept even more. The more I looked into it, the more perplexed I was. Questions upon questions that had me scratching my head and wondering how this will affect parenting roles in the future, not to mention interpersonal relationships. Mind you, the concept of high value dating hit social media in 2022, in which both parties are expected to be socially and sexually assertive, driven, confident, empathetic, communicative, authentic, well-rounded, and having integrity. Geez, how do you even get a word in? I won’t even go down the rabbit hole of the high value man. There is a plethora of websites on how to become the high value woman in order to attract a high value man, which I found highly disturbing. What ever happened to good old fashioned conversation and connection, letting destiny and fate play their parts?
Click on the two links below and tell me whether you also suddenly feel inadequate, infuriated that whatever validations you uphold and defend have been ripped apart:
15 Traits That Define A High Value Woman
25 High-Value Woman Traits That Set Her Apart
What was once referred to as power couples or high power dating with the philosophy of chase-invest-follow principle has now been replaced by high value dating operating under attract-define-empower. By the time I called it a day with the research, the glaring bottom line that struck me was that high value women apparently have no lazy days nor are allowed PMS bitchiness, as they are always in control.
The more looked and read, I realise that there is a massive confusion governing the term “value” which many seem to equate with “valuable” and “net worth” or “financial stability”. This is only going to get more convoluted over the next years, and I truly feel sorry for the young girls entering their mid teens just about now. The pressure that will be placed on their shoulders to aspire to become a high value woman is terrifying, and I have to ask where are they supposed to look for role models, because apparently most mothers do not qualify. I truly hope I am not the only one who has problems with this whole high value woman concept. Please drop me a line and share your thoughts.
FrogDiva Thoughts 