October came and went without even stopping long enough for a cup of coffee. In fact, this entire year of 2023 seems to be in a mad rush to be over and done with, and quite frankly, considering the year I’ve had, I’d be happy to see its retreat. But I can’t complain as far as the past three days are concerned, because I have found the redeeming qualities of this year, better late than never I suppose.
Why am I harping on about a month that is long gone? Well because the focus was family for me, and when you live alone in Europe and detached from all other family members who are scattered in North America, Asia and Australia, it matters tremendously when someone lands even on the same continent. Let’s start with the Texas branch, whom I had the great pleasure of meeting up with here in Portugal last year. They visited Spain this year and unfortunately destiny had other plans for me, and I was unable to meet up with them. However, since they were in in Valencia area my daughter met up with them instead, which was a fabulous and fortuitous event on many sides. It is so important that the next generation of cousins get to know one another, albeit one degree further apart, gets to know each other. Family is family. I was with them vicariously and that in itself meant the world to me.
Closer to home, the Canadian branch of cousins landed in Lisbon to join a cruise, that departed from Lisbon and went around the Iberian Peninsula. I rolled down the mountain to join up with them even for a few hours and for me it was such a special moment to be among family again. Very few will understand how lonely it can get at times when you are so far from the closest relative. It’s one thing to be several states apart or even in a neighbouring country, but when the geographical dimensions entail continents, it’s a whole different ballgame. And the older I get the more I crave for these connections, something to affirm that the childhood memories I have and desperately hold on to were real. I can’t even be sentimental and flip through photo albums because they are all in storage in Berlin!
In both these cases food was a unifying factor. Filipinos will always meet or reunite with or because of food, which is why I feel so at home here in Portugal because it is no different here. Even the black sheep will be fed!
Shifting my gaze to the other side of the globe, a beloved uncle passed away in Australia. Uncle B was a classmate of my father during their university days and they always had a unique bond that I never quite understood. My father was a loner who never really had friends or buddies to hang out with, pretty much like his own father, but having something in common with a fellow La Sallite who became his brother-in-law cemented a friendship that endured time and distance in spite of very different paths their lives took. Uncle B was an intrinsic part of my childhood memories, and in my mind I will always remember him smiling and laughing, telling jokes with that enchanting sonorous voice that he had. Thanks to the wonders of modern telecommunication, family members outside of Australia were able to join in the requiem mass via live stream, and that brought some much needed closure. Rest in peace Uncle B, and thank you for the memories.
October of course also marked the seventh death anniversary of my mom’s passing. I can’t believe how much time has passed and how my life has changed so drastically during that time. I am pretty sure that Mommy is not just turning in her grave at all the changes and decisions I have made, but by now she is so dizzy from spinning around at light speed. I stall talk to her every day in my prayers and wish more often that not that she were still just a phone call away.
How do I cope with isolation, distance and absence? Well a core of steel and courage, but I am blessed with very special people here in Portugal and around the globe who check on me on a daily basis and have a status of adoptive family my heart. I’m never homesick or lonely, just because I live alone. On the contrary, I celebrate and am grateful for family that comes in all variations and manifestations, and for that I don’t need a special day of the year to mark it. If you are a daily frog recipient then you have been frogged by me and that is a stamp of love, affection and loyalty. I frog you!
FrogDiva Thoughts 